Stuff I wrote when
I was a child
The Jimboinator 10,001
Written by me, c. 2001
I've always been a big fan of wild plot twists and dream logic, which is perhaps why David Lynch's films had such a big impact on me. I also typically reject the notion that there is such a thing as "cause and effect", seeing the universe instead as something entirely random and chaotic, which humans project meaning onto thanks to our collective apophenia. Apparently I held this view as a child too, because "The Jimboinator 10,001" is a story featuring a truly unexpected chain of events that totally defies conventional logic.
What is the Jimboinator 10,001? Scientists are working day and night to unfold the mysteries of it. They found it in a cave last year during the Bob Road Race.
It is strange how there is a "Jimbo-inator" when "Jimbo" is the name of the guy who has won the Bob Road Race every year for four years in a row.
Famously, he always wanted it to be called the "Jimbo Road Race", not "Bob Road Race". After all, who is this “Bob” guy anyway?
Oh yeah! My name is John. I was a scientist... but now? I’m lion food.
My boss Frederick accused me of being the creator of the Jimboinator 10,001 so he decided to feed me to the lions. Right now I’m in the middle of an arena, where the lions could be coming for me any second now.
This is my story...
It all started when I was racing in the Bob Road Race. I took a wrong turn.
Bang!
My car crashed.
So I found a cave and decided to walk through it. Suddenly I walked through a wall.
“John... oh, Johnny... John...”
What was that voice?
That was where I found the Jimboinator 10,001.
It zapped me and I became a scientist.
After some work, the other scientists decided that since I found the machine, then it meant I probably made it. So, they arrested me.
And here I am.
The lions are coming!
But they are running through me!
I am already dead.
And my name is now Jimbo...